Let's Hope We Never Have To Find Out
by MissDoctorDonna
Summary: The Doctor and Donna have had a hard day and take it out on each other.
1. Chapter 1

"Oi, Martian! It wasn't my fault that you didn't explain that I wasn't allowed to smell the flowers," shouted a clearly incensed Donna Noble, as she followed the Doctor into the TARDIS.

Throwing his coat over its customary strut, the Doctor stalked to the console and took them into the Vortex. "Honestly, Earthgirl, I'd have thought that the fact that everyone else was avoiding them would have been enough of a hint. Even for someone as observationally challenged as you."

"I'll observationally challenge you, mate!" Raising her hand in pre-slap mode, Donna strode towards her target.

"Don't even think about slapping me for this, Donna. It's your own fault and I refuse to be blamed when I've already been punished on the planet for your misdemeanour," growled the Doctor ominously.

Quirking an eyebrow and tilting her head in the way that infuriated him, Donna put her hands on her hips and retorted, "I don't recall asking you to take my punishment for me. Besides, you call that punishment? All they did was chant some mumbo jumbo at you. There was no need for you to go all Martian martyr for that. I could have stood in the middle of the creepy robed gits and listened to chant for an hour."

Grimacing, the Doctor tried valiantly to hold on to the last shreds of his rapidly waning patience, as he explained, "Donna. It wasn't just sound, it was psychic. They were inside my mind… I have shields and training, but you'd have had no chance at all. Humans are notoriously weak when it comes to mental disciplines."

Donna had been softening a little until that last sentence, instantly bristling. "Weak! Oh, of course, because we're just stupid apes to you, aren't we? The mighty Time Lord who sweeps in and saves the day for us poor Humans. Why do you travel with us then? Huh? Is it so you have someone to show off to and fluff up your ego?" Adopting an exaggerated expression of fawning, she simpered, "Ooo, Doctor, you're so brave and strong and clever. However did I manage to survive without you?"

"Donna.." The Doctor's voice was low and dangerous.

Unheeding of the treacherous ground she was treading, Donna continued, "Well, Rose and Martha may have been impressed by your unwarranted heroics, but I'm not, Sunshine."

Suddenly fury flamed in the Doctor's eyes and he bellowed, "Don't you mention Rose to me. She was worth ten of you. I've had enough of this. I'm taking you back to Chiswick."

Watching him run around the console, setting co-ordinates, Donna's heart clenched at the thought that he would actually dump her. But still her temper wouldn't allow her to stop. "Oh, so is that it then? You chuck us out as soon as we start to question you, like a toddler chucking his toys out of the pram? Dump us back home if we're lucky, alternate universes if we're not?"

The TARDIS landed with a thump, throwing Donna to the ground. Looking up, she saw the Doctor standing over her with the same expression she'd seen on his face in the basement of HC Clements.

His voice was icy calm as he commanded, "Get out!"

Inwardly quailing, Donna blustered outwardly. Standing up and dusting herself down, she stood toe to toe with him and shouted, "I'm not going to be thrown out by some skinny streak of alien nothing. All my stuff is here. I'll be more than happy to get away from you, but I'm going to pack my belongings and take them with me. You can just bloody wait."

With that, she stalked out of the console room, with as much dignity as she could muster. Once in the hallway and out of his sight, she ran for her room, locking the door. Sitting on the bed, she dimly registered that her hands were shaking and her face was wet. He was throwing her out! Over one little argument, he was prepared to throw her out and continue on his dangerous adventures without her to protect him. Who'd stop him from doing something stupid, if not for her? She supposed he'd pick up another companion, someone who wouldn't question him or slap him. Someone who didn't make hurtful comments about the people he'd lost, she thought, mentally slapping herself for saying what she had about Rose. Someone better than a stupid, bad tempered temp from Chiswick.

Looking around her room, she realised that it was home now. She'd added photos and mementos, furnishing it to her taste. She felt comfortable and accepted on the TARDIS, which was more than could be said for her room in her mother's house.

What's more, the infuriating Time Lord had become her best friend and she couldn't even comprehend what her life would be like without him. Sniffing, she realised that he obviously didn't feel the same way about her, if he was so quick to get rid of her. Thinking about going back to her mother's and giving up her life as it was now was enough to bring Donna's misery to the surface. The guilt she felt at his suffering at the hands of the priests, now that she knew the full extent of it, also surfaced and she threw herself on her bed and sobbed.

Still reeling from the mental assault of the priests, as they tried to force their rules and morals to overwrite his own, all the Doctor had wanted was some peace and quiet – maybe a cuddle, if he was brutally honest with himself. It really hadn't been a pleasant hour and his head was pounding with the effort of keeping himself protected. Instead, Donna had harped on at him about taking her punishment, not keeping her informed about the places they visited and not letting her make her own decisions. Like she ever listened to him anyway, he thought angrily. The comments she'd thrown in his face about Rose and Martha had hurt, making his fury flare to its fullest. He'd been almost ready to throw her out physically, which was most unlike him.

His anger died as suddenly as it had flared, leaving him exhausted and emphasising the pain in his head. Donna had helped him with his headaches before and he thought longingly of her fingers massaging his scalp. Frowning, he remembered the comments she'd made about Rose and Martha. They'd been uncharacteristically cruel and now that he thought about it, maybe she'd been affected by the flowers she'd been sniffing. There had to be a reason why only the priests could smell them. Maybe the pollen was psychotropic…

Looking forlornly at the doorway, he wondered if Donna would really leave him. Deciding that it would take her ages to pack all her things and/or cool down, he slouched his way to the kitchen to make a cup of tea.

Leaning on the cabinet, waiting for the kettle to boil, the Doctor rubbed his temples tiredly. His gaze fell on the cake tin on the table, so he ambled over to see if there were any muffins left. Instead, there was a freshly baked banana cake in there with Spacecake spelt out in icing sugar across the top. Tears sprang into his eyes and he realised how much he'd miss Donna's humour (and baking) if she left him. Replacing the lid, he realised that he'd lost the urge for tea and cake and his headache was rapidly developing into a migraine. Stumbling to the door, he made his way to the medbay.

The TARDIS dimmed all the lights in deference to her stricken pilot, setting up an urgent humming in Donna's room. Lifting herself from the bed, Donna sniffed and swiped at her eyes. "What's wrong, old girl? Is he getting impatient for me to go?"

Flashing red lights in Donna's room, the TARDIS unlocked and opened her door, before turning the lights in her room off completely and brightening the ones outside her door.

Frowning, Donna could feel a change in the atmosphere of the room. Curiously, she rose to her feet and left the room, muttering, "Alright, alright, I'm going. Don't get your circuits in a twist."

Following the lights she found on the floor, like the lights you're supposed to follow on planes when they crash, she rounded a corner and found the Doctor crumpled in a heap on the floor. All animosity and hurt forgotten in her rush of concern, she knelt by his side and murmured, "Doctor, what's the matter?"

"D-Donna?" Blindly, he groped for her hand.

"Yeah, Spaceman. I'm here." Taking his hand, she rubbed circles on the palm. "What's wrong, Doctor, were you trying to get to your room?"

"M-medbay," he stammered, then gulped convulsively before throwing up.

Chuckling and rubbing his back, Donna said, "Better out than in. Have you got one of your migraines, Sweetheart?"

Squeezing her hand was all he could manage as he continued to heave dryly and he hoped she'd know what he meant.

"Right, well, you're outside your room, so let's get you into bed. I'm sure the TARDIS can supply your headache medicine in a hypospray by the bed, can't you old girl?" Rubbing the wall, Donna heard the hum increase marginally. "Are you done throwing up? Think you can walk?"

Honestly, he was pretty sure that she was going to have to drag him, if she wanted him anywhere but where he was right now. Unfortunately, his power of speech seemed to have deserted him, along with his ability to move, keep his eyes open or hold down food.

Humming thoughtfully, when she received no response, Donna wondered if she could lift him. She was quite strong and he looked like he weighed nothing. Careful to avoid the pool of vomit, she sat him up and draped him across her back. Hooking her arm around his leg and grasping his wrist, she grunted as she hoisted him in a fireman's lift, warning, "Don't you throw up on me, Time Boy."

If he were still capable of speech, he'd be warning her that he was heavier than he looked. Followed closely by an expression of surprise as she managed to lift him. She was a woman of hidden talents, his companion. He groaned as she lowered him onto the bed. He heard a drawer open and then felt the hypospray hissing against his neck. Sighing with relief as the painkillers took immediate effect, he slumped into her.

"Okay Sweetheart, let's get you out of your suit so you can be a bit more comfortable." She'd kept him upright, propped against her with his head on her shoulder. Unbuttoning his shirt, she slid both his jacket and shirt off in one smooth motion, leaving him in his t-shirt. Lowering him onto his back, she unbuckled his belt, undid his trousers and eased them over his hips. Standing, she bent down to undo his laces and remove his shoes and socks. Lifting his legs up onto the bed, she pulled his trousers off. Covering him over, she gathered his clothes up and folded them neatly over the chair that he kept them on.

Going to the bathroom, she returned with a cup of cool water and a face cloth that she'd wrung out in warm water. Using the cloth to wipe his face, she then carefully lifted his head so he could sip the water. Leaving the cup on the bedside cabinet, she returned the flannel to the bathroom.

"Right, that's you sorted. I'll leave you to get some sleep."

"No," he groaned and forced his eyes open to find her.

Turning back to him, she saw his beautiful, big, brown eyes had fixed on her. "What do you mean no? I've just given you enough narcotics to knock out a bull elephant, why aren't you asleep already?"

"Closer." His hand was lying palm up on the bed, his fingers twitching as though beckoning her to him.

Her eyebrows shooting up into her hairline, she returned to his bedside and sat next to him. "What's wrong, Sweetheart?"

"Crying?" His hand rose as he tried to touch her cheek, but he only managed to lift it onto her lap.

Taking his hand and massaging the pressure points that would help his migraine, she murmured, "Yeah, but don't worry about me. I'm alright. You need to sleep now and we'll talk when you feel better."

"Sorry." He squeezed her hand.

"Yeah, me too. Don't know what came over me, really. Still, I am sorry I upset you. Are you still going to take me home?" Releasing one hand, she picked up the other one and started massaging that one.

"Stay?" His yawn startled them both.

Laughing softly, Donna put his hand down and started gently stroking his hair. "Yes, I'll stay. I love living here with you and the TARDIS. Now, get some sleep. Silly Martian."

His grip on her trousers tightened as she tried to get up and he whispered urgently, "Stay?"

Remembering then that he hated to be left alone when he had a migraine, she nodded and whispered soothingly, "Alright, Spaceman. I'll stay with you whilst you're ill. Hush now. The sooner you go to sleep, the sooner you'll feel better."

Patting the bed beside him, he pleaded, "Here?"

Rolling her eyes, Donna stretched out beside him on the bed after removing her jacket and shoes. Gathering him into her arms, after his weak scrabbling effort to turn over, she asked, "Better?"

"Mmmm." Cuddling into his Human hot water bottle, the Time Lord felt the residual pain leave and his muscles start to relax.

He constantly wondered why his people had looked down on Humans. They were always so wonderfully warm, just perfect for snuggling into when you felt ill and tired. Donna was even better as she was not only warm, but soft and smelled lovely. Plus, she had magic fingers which soothed away muscular aches and relieved tension. He groaned a little as said fingers worked circles in his scalp, loosening the stress so it trickled away.

His head cushioned on her breast, he listened to the rhythmic beating of her single heart and let it lull him into sleep. This is what he'd wanted all along.

Smiling fondly at the now sleeping alien on her chest, Donna smirked and murmured, "Silly Spaceman. What would you do without me?"

Thoughtfully raking her fingers through his thick, soft hair, she felt helpless as a surge of love and protection welled up in her. "More to the point, Time Boy, what would I do without you?"

Unconsciously, the Doctor pulled himself closer to Donna, seeking more warmth.

Turning to him and tightening her hold, she whispered, "Let's hope we never have to find out, huh?"


	2. Chapter 2

Donna's day had been quite trying, not to mention emotionally upsetting. Having settled the Doctor after his migraine, she now lay with his body draped over hers, drawing light circles on his back with her fingers. Chuckling a little when he'd nestled as far into her as physically possible, she knew he was soaking up her body heat. Ordinarily, she'd have been growling about him taking liberties with where his head was lying, but she was willing to overlook it when he wasn't well.

Pulling the covers up more securely around the Doctor's shoulders, Donna delicately smoothed her fingers over his thick hair and down his long, slender neck. "You're like a swan, you are mate. All neck and plumage. Not to mention being a force to be reckoned with when you're pissed off."

She'd spoken quietly, but he shifted restlessly, muttering in his native language. His hand clenched in her top, released it, and then clenched it again.

Resting her hand over his, she lightly stroked his fingers, comforting him. She'd seen him sleeping before and knew that he never slept soundly. He'd told her how old he was and she couldn't even imagine how much horror he'd experienced in that time. She knew he'd lost a girl he loved – Rose.

She knew he got migraines, since she'd helped him with the ones he'd gotten after their adventures in Pompeii and the Oodsphere. The one after the Oodsphere had been the worse one, leaving him screaming in pain on the floor of his bathroom. Both times she'd found him, guided by the TARDIS, and helped him with pain relief and mothering. At first he'd protested against the mothering, but his objections rang hollow. It had been her first insight into the complex alien in her arms. She knew he craved physical affection and loved nothing more than to snuggle into her embrace.

The Doctor had relaxed slightly at her touch, but his demons pursued him relentlessly and he whimpered and tensed up again.

Turning even further towards him, Donna raked her fingers through his hair and started singing softly to him. Humming softly as he settled against her again with his head on her shoulder, she kissed his forehead. He made a mewling noise and nuzzled into her neck.

She knew he secretly loved the fact that she nagged him into taking care of himself. She remembered the first morning she'd woken up on the TARDIS. He'd come bursting into her room, bouncing on her bed like a toddler on Christmas morning, demanding that she get up and come on an adventure. When she'd grumpily announced that she was going nowhere without breakfast, he'd airily produced a banana from his pocket and offered it to her. She'd dragged him by the lapels to the kitchen and loaded him up on a breakfast of banana pancakes. The look he'd given her was one of sheer bliss. He'd had his feet under the kitchen table ever since, consuming some quite frankly astounding amounts of her cooking with gusto.

Drinking lots of water and getting exercise weren't a problem for either of them. But sleeping had been the last hurdle. He'd told her that his species didn't require a lot of sleep and she had no reason to disbelieve him. However, she knew he did need sleep and that he didn't get enough of it. She'd resorted to being sneaky about it, lulling him into sleep in the library by reading to him. Or in the television room, watching films he found boring. All that was required was an arm around his shoulders when he started to nod off and he would happily curl up in her lap for a good couple of hours sleep.

This was how she knew he had nightmares. Every time he slept, the bad memories would swarm out of the locked box in his mind and torment him 'til he screamed. The first time, he'd been embarrassed and had stalked out of the library and disappeared for hours. The second time, he'd clung to her for a few moments before he'd realised what had happened. Then he'd accused her of wanting him to suffer by making him sleep, before storming off in a fit of pique. He'd sidled into the kitchen for his dinner an hour later, looking equal measures of sulky and apologetic. The third time, they'd been locked in a prison cell on Teynoltoc Prime, so he'd had nowhere to run. She'd held him tightly as he screamed and clung to her. Afterwards, he'd told her about the Year That Never Was, hiding his face in her shoulder. Rocking him, she'd held him close and petted him until he calmed and fell back into an exhausted doze. It wasn't long after that that she'd started waking up with him curled up beside her in her bed. She always started out the night alone, but he crept in when he was tired.

The Doctor grumbled and rolled over, frenetic even in sleep, but made sure to take her hand with him so she was forced to roll with him, spooning into his back. He held her hand securely clasped in both his under his chin, wriggling back so as much of him was against her body as possible.

She knew he loved her warmth and softness. Once they'd gotten over the whole boundaries issue of what was considering safe touching, he'd taken every opportunity to hold her hand or hug her. He was forever sidling up to her, hoping for a cuddle, or sitting beside her on a sofa as close as possible. She secretly wondered if that's why he'd taken her to the Oodsphere, as the freezing temperatures would create a need to share body warmth.

He kicked out, fighting someone or something in his mind, and she pulled him closer, murmuring, "Hush Spaceman, I'm here, you're safe with me, sweetheart."

As he once again settled, she knew that he did indeed feel safe with her. The rapid tattoo of his double heartbeats against her arm calmed and returned to normal. He'd unconsciously reach for her hand or bump up against her when he was in situations that he felt slightly uneasy about. She knew he must have done the same thing with other companions, she wasn't anything out of the ordinary, but it still made her feel a little bit important.

She knew she loved the smell of him, zesty and zingy, like the air in a citrus orchard during a lightning storm. It was underlined with a sweetly musky smell and something else that couldn't identify, something uniquely him. Breathing in deeply, she savoured the smell, storing the memory of it away with the smells of her Nan, Dad and Gramps. Lightly brushing the back of his neck with his lips, she chuckled as he started to purr. She knew she loved the sound of that, and the fact that he was so embarrassed when she mentioned it.

The Doctor had been sleeping as peacefully as he ever did for around five hours, when he suddenly rolled over again and snuggled into her, rubbing his cheek on her shoulder like a cat. He uttered a jaw cracking yawn, before his eyes fluttered open and he gazed up at her sleepily.

Falling into the beauty of his doe-like brown eyes, she saw his age, pain and wisdom, along with his vulnerability and strength. She knew that she loved his eyes. She loved when they crinkled with laughter and sparkled with mischief. The Time Lords eyes truly were a window to his soul.

"Hello," he murmured, "What are you thinking?"

Grinning at him as she stroked a stray tendril of hair out of his eyes, she kissed his forehead when he smiled shyly at her. "Hello yourself, Sunshine. I was just wondering when you'd be waking up. How are you feeling now? Headache all gone?"

Looking thoughtful for a moment, his thin face lit up and he announced, "Yup, all gone. What will we do today then?"

"Nothing too strenuous or your headache will come back. Let's start with a cup of tea, shall we?"

Making no move to get up or let her go, he tucked his head under her chin as he replied, "Sounds brilliant. Especially if it comes with a large slice of Spacecake."

She knew he was going to say that.


	3. Chapter 3

Abruptly regaining consciousness, the Doctor's first thought was that he felt pleasantly safe and warm. This wasn't a familiar thought on waking by any means, so he immediately set about diagnosing the reason for his contentment. He became aware of the smell of human surrounding him, which would also explain the warmth. Donna. Remembering the day before, their fight, his migraine and her compassion, he rolled over and nestled into her. Rubbing his cheek into her, in a display of Gallifreyan affection, he yawned mightily and opened his eyes to see if she was awake yet.

Seeing her brilliant blue eyes staring down at him, he noted the thoughtful look on her face, along with another emotion that he couldn't immediately place.

"Hello," he murmured, "What are you thinking?"

His foolish old hearts fluttered as she grinned at him and tenderly stroked his hair from his eyes. Despite their fight yesterday, despite his harsh words and hasty actions, she still cared for him. He smiled at her bashfully, waiting for her to speak.

"Hello yourself, Sunshine. I was just wondering when you'd be waking up. How are you feeling now? Headache all gone?" Her voice held concern as well as teasing.

Assessing his health for the first time since he woke, he realised that his headache was indeed gone. Thanks mostly the tender ministrations of the woman in whose arms he still sheltered. He replied, with a cheer he didn't really feel, "Yup, all gone. What will we do today then?"

"Nothing too strenuous or your headache will come back. Let's start with a cup of tea, shall we?"

Relaxing thankfully at her response, he tucked his head under her chin as he replied, "Sounds brilliant. Especially if it comes with a large slice of Spacecake."

Feeling her breath ruffle his hair as she chuckled, he pulled himself closer to her, snuggling into the haven of her arms. He slept so much better when she was holding him and he knew she soothed his nightmares. Emotions welled up in him and he swallowed them back, forcing them down again.

"Sweetheart? What is it?" Her hand started rubbing soothing circles on his back and it was all he could do to prevent himself from purring.

"I'm alright," he muttered thickly.

Donna heard the suppressed tears and wondered what was bothering him. Turning towards him, she gathered him more firmly into her arms. Raking her fingers through his thick, warm hair, she kissed his forehead gently. With infinite tenderness, she murmured, "Of course you are, Time Boy. But if you should want to have a bit of a cry, well, no-one's going to see it but me and the TARDIS."

"I can't," he barely recognised his voice, so tiny and forlorn.

"What? Literally can't? Physically don't have tear ducts?" Her voice squeaked in surprise.

Grinning a little, he snorted as he realised that of all his companions, Donna was the first to truly get that he was an alien. He actually found that comforting, like a weight had been lifted from him along with the need to pretend to be something that he wasn't. "No, Donna. I'm physically capable of crying, I just … I just …. can't."

Silence settled over them for a few moments, only broken by the rustling of her hand moving in circles under the covers over his back.

Thoughtfully, she asked, "Are you afraid that you won't stop, if you start?"

Surprised by her perceptiveness, he slowly nodded as he clutched a handful of her top. "Donna… there are .. I've seen so many … I've lost too much…"

"Spaceman, you will stop." She put her fingers on his mouth to halt his protests. "In my experience, no matter how much sorrow you've experienced, you will eventually stop crying. When you do, you'll feel horrible, with a headache and a head full of snot and a sore throat. But I'll be here with a glass of cool water to soothe your throat, a cool compress to soothe your head and some tissues to deal with the snot. I'll make you tea and feed you cake. You'll feel better for a while. You might even tell me about some of the horrors you've seen, along with the tales of daring and adventure. Then there may be more tears, but you know what?"

Shaking his head helplessly, he shrugged, unable to speak past the lump in his throat.

"If there are more tears, Doctor, then I'll still be here. You big, space dummy." Kissing him softly on the head, she continued," And as you talk and cry, the nightmares will gradually lose their hold on you. Eventually, you'll start to heal, little by little. And you know what else?"

Again he shook his head wordlessly, tears starting to drip down his cheeks and soak into her top.

"I'll still be there. Probably slapping you and telling you I told you so." She chuckled and poked him in the ribs, chuckling more when he wriggled.

His weak chuckle soon dissolved into racking sobs as he let himself feel the pain and grief. As he let himself be consumed by his past, he clung to his companion as though she were the only solid thing in his mercurial life.

For her part, Donna kept her promise and stayed with her friend through his tears. As she'd promised, they did stop eventually and she provided the damp cloth, cool water and tissues. Then she urged him up and made him tea and a meal, finished with a large slice of cake. Taking him through to the library, she listened as he told her of the Time War, of his lost planet, of companions he'd loved and lost, of adventures and tragedies. She held him as he cried, shared his laughter and tears.

Eventually, she guided him back to his room and pushed him in the direction of the bathroom, telling him to shower and change into his pajamas. She ran for her own room and did the same. When she emerged from her bathroom, it was to the sight of him already curled up in her bed. Crawling in next to him, she cuddled into him and sang him to sleep.

Holding him close, she whispered, "I told you so."

Even in sleep, he smiled.


End file.
